If you’re looking for a heartwarming story, then you might want to stop reading now—this one’s kind of a bummer.
About a month ago, 17-year-old Chris Doyle made a video asking Hollywood darling Emma Stone to be his senior prom date, and to his surprise, the La La Land star actually saw it and said yes! Unfortunately, the good news ends there, because once the big day arrived, something awful happened: Emma Stone got so trashed in the limo on the way to prom that she didn’t even make it inside for the dance.
Yikes. This is a classic example of a fairy tale gone wrong.
When Emma pulled up to Chris’ cul-de-sac in a beautiful white limousine, kicked open the passenger door with her bare feet, and slurred, “Get in, Birdman,” the teen was initially way too starstruck to notice that anything was off. Of course, by the time Emma had spilled a third shot of absinthe on his blue suit and finished yet another incoherent rant about “Gosling’s weird snake tongue,” Chris was starting to get pretty worried about his big night. Like a champ, the high school senior tried to stay positive, but he definitely had not expected to spend such a large part of the evening spotting his celeb crush while she kept trying to stand up and scream, “Fuck that guy who played McLovin,” out of the limo’s rooftop window.
Wow, poor kid! We really expected a little more class from such a beloved actress.
It looked like the whole night was going to be a bust when suddenly, about 20 minutes into the ride, Emma got really chill and told Chris he could ask her anything he wanted about working with Bill Murray. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a sort of calm before the storm that led to Emma violently dry-heaving into her seat pocket while sobbing that “love is dead and capitalism is king.” Ever the gentlemen, Chris attempted to hold Emma’s hair back for her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she just slapped him and screamed, “Get your filthy hands off of me, I could buy you if I wanted, I could buy every last one of you, I’m fucking Emma Stone,” right as the limousine pulled into the parking lot of Jefferson High.
Damn. Suffice it to say that the couple never actually made it into the gym for a romantic slow dance. If there’s any consolation in all of this, it’s that Chris will hopefully have a great story to tell one day and that Emma definitely won’t remember a single minute of the entire night. We wish them both the best!
