If you’re ever feeling bad about yourself, it might help to remind yourself that you’re a much more impressive individual than a lot of people out there. Case in point: The guy behind you at the baseball game genuinely believes the jumbotron CGI baseball is under hat #3.
Jesus Christ, is he really that goddamn stupid? The ball’s OBVIOUSLY under hat #2—even the kids in the crowd are getting it right.
The kind of dumb you have to be to stand out in a Citi Field crowd of Mets fans is almost too sad to fathom, but here it is, in the flesh, a man sitting right behind you, braying, “Tree!!! Hat numba tree!!!” over and over like a cross-eyed fucking donkey. Naturally, as the biggest imbecile on Earth, he’s also the loudest, most confident person in the stadium, shouting “It went under hat numba tree!!! I saw it!!!” at a deafening volume as if trying to wow the entire seating section by brilliantly solving the animated hat-shuffling game, despite the fact that he’s very obviously wrong. Literally anyone with a pulse can tell it’s under hat #2, you squid-brained fuck!
What’s especially sad here is that his 9-year-old son is with him, and even his kid calling hat #2 like everyone else. In a few moments, when the actual correct answer is revealed, this poor kid’s about to see his own dad get exposed as King Of The Dipshits in front of thousands of people. That’s a kind of trauma that will stay with him for years to come.
Sheesh. It’s honestly depressing that people like this are allowed to breed.
While you can’t help but feel bad for his kid, it’ll admittedly be very satisfying to see this idiot’s heart sink once he realizes he picked the wrong hat. Watching a jackass fail so spectacularly at a type of game that literal chimpanzees dominate in science labs every day will undoubtedly be more entertaining than anything that happens on the field. God, what a moron!
