Middle-aged men aren’t exactly known for being in touch with their emotions. Whatever it is that they’re feeling usually stays bottled up, and on the rare occasion they do choose to express themselves, it can feel strange and unnatural—as if they’re existing on a completely different emotional spectrum than everyone else. Case in point: You just saw your dad cry for the first time ever after he learned that some Howard Stern Wack Packer named Baby-Sized Cameron had died.
Huh. That’s the thing that finally made him cry? Go figure.
When you walked into the family room today, you were greeted by the truly disorienting sight of Dad crying—like, not quite full-on sobbing, but definitely more than just choking up. You assumed there must’ve been some horrible family tragedy, as surely it would take something pretty serious to make Dad so visibly devastated. But, alas, when you asked him what happened, he tearfully revealed that some random, long-time member of the Howard Stern Wack Pack named Baby-Sized Cameron had passed away yesterday, turning his iPad to show you a YouTube compilation he had pulled up called “Baby-Sized Cameron MOST OUTRAGEOUS Moments (PART 1).”
Unsure what to do, you simply put a hand on your dad’s shoulder (since a hug would probably only make things weirder), as he gently laughed through his tears watching Howard Stern crack joke after joke at the expense of Baby-Sized Cameron—a person who was clearly born with some sort of physical impairment that prevented him from growing more than 2.5 feet tall, a fact that did not deter Stern, his co-host Robin Quivers, nor guests like Artie Lange from roasting him in the most brutal manner imaginable. Everything about the video was wildly offensive, and it was hard to see how anyone could get so emotional watching it, but perhaps it’s just the kind of thing one can only understand after decades of unhealthily suppressing one’s feelings.
Beyond the fact that your dad has never once broken down like this in front of the family—not even at his own brother’s funeral, nor when he saw Grandma so confused with dementia in hospice care—what’s even more confounding is how Baby-Sized Cameron managed to fill such a big space in your dad’s heart despite your dad knowing basically nothing about the Wack Packer besides whatever embarrassing personal details Stern would solicit from him on the show, such as the size of his genitalia, whether he’s gay, if he has to stand on a stool when he has sex, or any of the countless other crass inquiries meant to get the poor guy riled. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s nonetheless clear that Baby-Sized Cameron meant a great deal to your dad.
Bizarre. While it’s sad to see your dad so upset like this, it’s also unclear what the hell you’re supposed to make of it. Maybe this is some sort of mid-life crisis thing?
Well, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with adult men crying, and if Baby-Sized Cameron is what it took to bring out your dad’s tender side, then that’s okay. Good on Dad for finally showing some vulnerability, and RIP to Baby-Sized Cameron, who was apparently pretty beloved.
