Therapy can be an effective tool for maintaining your mental wellness, but it’s never going to work if you don’t understand what the hell your therapist is saying. Unfortunately, just such a frustrating conversation is happening right now: This therapist keeps asking you to imagine what Sebastian the crab from The Little Mermaid would do in your situation.
Really? Sebastian? Pretty sure he’s just like a singing crab… really not much of an inspirational figure, let alone a paragon of mentally healthy behavior…
After listening to your spiel about how you’ve been feeling disrespected by your roommate because you’ve noticed she’s been eating your food without asking, your therapist, instead of offering any practical advice or asking follow-up questions, said, “And what do you think Sebastian the crab would do in a situation like that?” Understandably, you paused, then said, “You mean, like, Sebastion from The Little Mermaid?” to which your therapist nodded, before she nodded again as you responded “I don’t know?”
Okay, what? How the hell is this supposed to help you? It’s not like Sebastian saved the day in the movie or anything. Like, he was kinda a good friend to Ariel—he was definitely supportive—but not notably so?
Confused, you moved on to discussing the boundaries you want to set with your parents and got pretty worked up in the process, but rather than tell you to take deep breaths to calm back down, your therapist merely said, “And how might Sebastian communicate his needs to his parents?” First of all, it was pretty bold of her to assume at that point that you were on board enough with the Sebastian line of questioning for her to address him just by first name, without even adding “the crab” or “the one from the mermaid movie” or anything. And furthermore, it was basically an impossible question given that as far as anyone knows, Sebastian doesn’t even have parents, let alone parents who insist on calling him three times a day like yours do. Still, your therapist tried to prompt you by adding “Do you think he would…ask his friend Ariel for advice?” as if you could possibly have any sense of how that question was intended to help, and who, if anyone, the redheaded mermaid-equivalent in your life was supposed to be. As you once again responded, “I don’t know,” your therapist nodded, this time adding, “I’d like you to reflect on that before our next session.”
Next session? Lady, there might not be a next session if this deeply unhelpful shit about Sebastian the crab is all you can say! Because, by the way, even if you did know how Sebastian would respond to situations from your everyday life, which you don’t, are you supposed to do what he would do, or are you supposed to do the opposite?
Good Lord. An $85 copay for this? It might be time to give telehealth another shot, because this therapist is definitely not gonna make a dent in your issues. Mental health is such a difficult topic to tackle, and therapists like this are part of the reason that’s the case!
