There are five of them that you can be and it’s time to know which! Everybody is one of them and nobody is all of them, and knowing which one you are will change your life in either a good way or a bad way. It’s time to learn the big information! Are you Craig, Stephanie, Uncle Blaster, Amanda, or Professor Junk? Take this quiz to find out!
Are You Craig, Stephanie, Uncle Blaster, Amanda, Or Professor Junk?
What is your favorite cocktail?
1. Old fashioned
2. Gin and tonic
3. A colorless, odorless liquid called “Sleep Milk”
4. Moscow mule
5. Motor oil…the same black nectar that feeds my machines…
What’s your ideal Saturday night activity?
1. Researching ways to cheat at various sports and games
2. Watching a movie with friends
3. Hanging out near burning buildings and selling Sleep Milk to firefighters
4. A quiet night in with a glass of wine and a good book
5. Pointing at all the machines I invented and shouting “Behold!”
What is your lifelong dream?
1. Winning the Super Bowl by telling lies and messing around with other people’s equipment
2. Opening a bed and breakfast in the mountains called Stephanie’s Hideaway
3. Appearing on the cover of New Types Of Milk Magazine alongside the headline “An Interview With Uncle Blaster: The Inventor Of Sleep Milk Talks To Us About Marriage, Smiling, And Tracking Down The People Who Wronged Him”
4. Traveling to Paris
5. Inventing a gizmo
What’s your hidden talent?
1. I can get umpires and referees to make decisions they don’t agree with using deception and/or blackmail
2. I’m great at karaoke
3. I can communicate telepathically with the angel who spits Sleep Milk out of her mouth, so any time I’m out of Sleep Milk to sell to the firefighters I can just think the word “More” and the angel comes down from Heaven and spits a swamp’s worth of Sleep Milk into all my buckets
4. I’m actually amazing a minigolf
5. With these hands…these mere mortal human hands of flesh and blood…I sculpt and bring forth titanium gods whose plans for humanity are as detailed as they are cruel
What kind of car do you drive?
1. A stolen zamboni
2. A hatchback
3. The Blaster Mobile
4. A station wagon
5. A steam-powered tangle of pistons, wheels, and blades that I call Death’s Chariot
How many machines have you invented?
1. 0
2. 1
3. 2
4. 3
5. 1,000,000,000,000
