Socialists have long criticized capitalism for exploiting workers, heightening inequalities in our society, and valuing profit over human life, the environment, and social good. That sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it? But if capitalism really is as bad as they say, then how come this businessman is surrounded by other business people and they’re all laughing?
Checkmate, socialists!
Don’t you DSA members and Bernie Sanders fanatics think that if capitalism really brought alienation to the working class that this businessman—a guy who’s supposed to be a mere cog in the capitalist machine—would be standing alone and frowning instead of smiling ear to ear with his best friends? Socialists may claim that capitalism causes workers to be paid less than the value of their work, but these happy businessmen are all the proof you need to know that capitalism doesn’t bring exploitation. In fact, it brings smiles.
Boom!! How ya like them apples, socialists?
Karl Marx once wrote, “Accumulation of wealth at one pole is at the same time accumulation of misery, agony of toil, slavery, ignorance, brutality, mental degradation, at the opposite pole.” Well, sorry Mr. Marx, but if this is what misery, agony of toil, slavery, ignorance, brutality, and mental degradation looks like, then it looks pretty dang good!
Besides, could a suit made by fairly paid American workers in a socialist factory possibly look as good as these ones made by an Italian designer with fabrics imported from Japan? Absolutely not!
Game, set, and match, socialists! Looks like it’s time to break up your little Marxist reading groups and start organizing some Milton Friedman book clubs, because, as this picture of these joyful captains of industry clearly demonstrates, capitalism rocks! Workers of the world, it’s time to unite in defense of capitalism, which clearly gives us only happy times and nice suits! We can’t wait until the free market works its magic on us and we’re all as happy as the guys in this picture. Huzzah!
