Well folks, as if you needed another thing to worry about, here is something very concerning: This bottle of pills in an Asian grocery store just has the word “DIARRHEA” in the Matrix font above a picture of Keanu Reeves in sunglasses.
Yikes. Who exactly is buying these pills, and…why?
Even a close examination of this highly questionable product found on the shelves of Asia Mart in Cincinnati, Ohio reveals very little useful information about what horrific purpose these pills could be meant for. The poorly printed graphics and low-quality label only make the product seem sketchier, and outside of the word “DIARRHEA” on the front, the only other English on the entire bottle are the words, “The time has came,” on the back next to a picture of the Predator. While there are some additional Asian characters below the English text, five different online translators were unable to recognize what language this could be. And at $16 for 4 giant pills, this definitely isn’t just some run-of-the-mill herbal diarrhea cure. Its packaging seems to imply some sort of diarrhea journey, perhaps one that makes the user feel as if they’ve been sucked into an adventure in a strange, computer-generated alternate reality.
Um yeah, we don’t want to narc on anyone, but we might be calling the health department here.
Look, people are free to experiment with whatever substances they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, but this…this is definitely hurting someone. We feel like we need to buy all of this stuff just to make sure no one else takes it—but who knows if we might be tempted by Keanu’s outstretched hand promising whatever mind-melting diarrhea experience these might offer. There may be no way to keep the world safe from whatever it is these pills do.
