Ever since the popularity of American ska music peaked in 1996 with the release of Reel Big Fish’s hit song “Sell Out,” ska disinterest has been steadily on the rise, and now, according to a new study released earlier this week, humanity’s indifference to ska may soon reach a critical point of no return: The Ska Awareness Foundation has announced that the world is on track to hit record levels of ska disinterest by 2030 unless dramatic action is taken.
This is so tragic.
This study by the Ska Awareness Foundation released in tandem with the National Ska Defense Council found that a variety of co-occurring factors, such as lack of a “Best Ska Album” category at the Grammys and the fact that ska songs literally never crack the top 40 charts, have led to a catastrophic decline in ska appreciation over the last 25 years. As a result, we are on track to reach total ska irrelevance by the end of the decade, which is far earlier than ever before predicted. Experts say that without intervention, this state of affairs will become irreversible—within a decade, the amount of bands made up of 14 out-of-shape middle-aged guys in suits scream-singing together will approach zero, and profound apathy towards the idea of skanking to the beat of a trombone in a church basement dance hall will prevail among the general population
Fortunately, the International Ska Taskforce has created the 2030 Ska Outreach Plan, a multi-step program designed to reverse the trend of ska disinterest. With proposed legislation that would mandate at least one Hot Topic is in every municipality, as well as a government initiative that would provide a free tie and pair of checkered Vans to any teenager with a budding neckbeard, ska scientists remain hopeful that the trend of disinterest can be slowed before it’s too late.
However, more hard-core ska advocates argue these actions are far from enough and will only delay the point at which Streetlight Manifesto poster sales peter out entirely. Therefore, some ska activists argue that in order to truly reverse these levels of ska disinterest, concerned citizens will need to enact a full-blown ska revival, which is why these ska fans can often be found calling pop radio stations to demand they play whatever single the Mighty Mighty Bosstones have most recently released.
Wow. We had no idea that the situation was this dire. Here’s hoping that ska can make a comeback, and fast, or else this loud, strange genre of music could be gone from our culture sooner than we could have imagined.