When two people have a child, they are filled with hopes and dreams for its future, looking forward to the happy years they’ll spend guiding their little one’s development. But unfortunately, there are times when those hopes are suddenly dashed, like in the case of this poor couple that has endured a shocking tragedy: Sadly, it turns out that their child is dumb, mean, and smells bad.
This is truly every parent’s worst nightmare.
Ben and Michelle Dawson were overjoyed when they first brought their son Mason home from the hospital as an infant, and his toddlerhood went by uneventfully, but unfortunately, the family’s happiness wouldn’t last forever: Around their son’s fifth birthday, Mason’s parents’ lives changed forever as they began to notice that their child was a stinky moron with a terrible personality. “I had imagined Mason could be a teacher, an astronaut, a father, anything he wanted. Nothing could have prepared me for the fact that he walks around all day with a scowl on his dumb face, poking people in the eyes and stinking like old garbage,” said Michelle. “He doesn’t say any words other than ‘Huh?’ and ‘Shut up.” I bathe him every night, but nothing gets rid of the manure smell. They say parenthood is always hard, but I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.”
Wow. If your child isn’t dumb, mean, or smelly, it’s probably time you count your blessings.
The pain has only increased for the Dawson family as they have watched Mason’s peers grow into curious, kind, successful, sweet-scented elementary schoolers, while he remains a nasty, foul-odored halfwit. “There is truly nothing more painful for a parent than to see your idiotic son slam headfirst into the door of his kindergarten classroom, proceed to flip off his his teacher and then bite her on the ankle, and then quickly get kicked out of class due to how badly his natural smell is distracting the other students,” said Ben. “In moments like that, you truly wish you could switch places with your son so you could be the one to endure life as a rude moron who reeks. But instead, you have to watch helplessly while he tears around in circles like a dumbass, growling viciously and repelling everyone around him with his awful odor.”
“I’ve smelled the other kids in Mason’s class—they smell incredible,” Michelle added. ‘”My son smells like the dump. Do you know how hard it is to live with that, day in and day out?”
This is so difficult. Ben and Michelle are going through something we all hope we never have to endure if we have kids. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs there is, and we have to hand it to this couple for carrying on every day in the face of a horrible predicament. Good luck, Ben and Michelle. Let’s hope you are someday able to find a way to make your son less stupid, evil, and smelly.
