Ever since Biden’s departure upended the 2024 presidential race, Trump has been losing ground to Biden’s successor, Kamala Harris, as the Republican party has struggled to find the messaging to effectively counter her. Well, those strategists have just been handed a gift, as Harris just revealed that she too has a fuckup son who loves smoking crack and keeping his dick pics on an unsecured laptop.
Whoa! You can bet the Republicans in DC are absolutely hooting and hollering over this news.
On a recent presidential candidate disclosure form, under “Family,” Harris revealed that she has “A complete fuckup of a son named Turner who absolutely LOVES smoking crack with prostitutes and keeping pictures of it on his unsecured laptop, which he is constantly taking in for repair at disreputable repair shops. He also takes a LOT of dick pics and nude selfies where he generally looks wasted as hell SMDH.” Predictably, this news has Republicans working for Donald Trump’s campaign all but declaring victory.
“Harris’ heretofore unknown fuckup of a son is a major boon to Trump’s campaign,” said Republican strategist April Morrison. “Our strategy for attacking Biden was simple: Attack his fuckup son. This discovery allows us to use strategies that we’d spent millions of dollars on developing, which we thought had become obsolete when Biden stepped down. Now all we need is for Turner Harris’ laptop to fall into the hands of someone who will leak the photos so they can be shared all over Facebook and X. Once the world has seen Harris’s son’s crack pipe and half-hard cock, it’s game over for the Dems.”
Damn. Just when you thought the 2024 election couldn’t get any wilder, this bombshell is revealed.
While Harris’s fuckup son was only discovered this morning, Republicans are already going all-in on this as their primary messaging against Harris, with many right-wingers posting sketches and AI-generated mockups of what the sordid, cracked-out photos on Turner’s laptop will look like when they are inevitably leaked. Yep, it looks like this is the silver bullet that Republicans think they need to put the Harris campaign in a coffin. What a year for politics!
