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He’s Back: Rudy Giuliani Just Fully Restored His Dignity And Social Standing After Finding The Perfect Beret For His Head Shape

It’s easy to forget that Rudy Giuliani was once lauded as “America’s Mayor” given the numerous legal troubles he’s mired in today. However, in spite of how far Giuliani’s reputation has fallen in the public eye, it turns out hitting rock bottom was only a prelude to the second act of his career: Rudy Giuliani just fully restored his dignity and social standing after finding the perfect beret for his head shape.

Well, it’s official: America’s Mayor is BACK, all thanks to his beautiful new beret! Talk about a glow up! 

Earlier this week, just as the former NYC mayor’s sexual misconduct allegations and racketeering indictment had brought his career to a devastating low point, Giuliani’s public approval rating did a complete 180 after he was seen sporting a mulberry-colored wool beret outside of his Manhattan office. According to a Gallup poll, a stunning 100% of Americans now have “a favorable view of Rudy Giuliani and his stylish, head-shape-complementing beret,” which is a figure that stands in stark contrast to the 7% favorability rating Giuliani had just a week ago. Along with the universal embrace of the American public, Giuliani has also won his way back into the hearts of the political elite—including Hillary Clinton, who issued a statement saying that “while myself and Mayor Giuliani certainly have our ideological differences, there’s no denying that Rudy’s beret has brought out the best in him and his face shape. No American can hold Rudy’s transgressions against him so long as his headwear remains so impeccably suited for his cheekbone structure.” 

Rudy’s new beret has also been met with an outpouring of love from celebrities and politicos alike, ranging from heartfelt social media endorsements from Ice Spice and Josh Gad to an episode of The Rachel Maddow Show in which Maddow stated that Rudy’s beret “embodies the elegance and poise of the Rudy we all know and love,” and exhorted her audience to “stop holding Mr. Giuliani’s transgressions against him, and start celebrating just how classy he looks in that beret of his.” Not only has Giuliani been unable to walk in the streets of New York without receiving standing ovations from pedestrians, but he’s also been announced as the subject of Time Magazine’s next cover, in a profile titled “Dressed For A Comeback: The Beret That Resurrected Rudy Giuliani From The Ashes Of Dishonor.”

Welcome back to honor and esteem, Rudy! 

As far as public opinion, it truly seems like it’s all uphill for Rudy from here on out. It just goes to show that the perfect hat can totally save your legacy, no matter how many sexual and political crimes you’ve committed. Our hats are off to you and your outstanding beret, Mr. Giuliani!