As the science of genetic engineering has developed over the past few decades, scientists have made some major strides toward reviving the extinct woolly mammoth. While this ultimate goal has eluded the researchers so far, a thrilling new breakthrough announced yesterday shows that the day when mammoths once again walk the Earth is closer than ever: Geneticists working on bringing back mammoths just announced they’ve developed an elephant with eyebrows and an insane bush!
This is awesome! It might not be the wooly mammoth clone the world has been waiting for, but it’s definitely a start!
The amazing new results were published yesterday in the scientific journal Nature by a team of researchers from Stanford University in a paper titled “We Did It: We Made a Beautiful Elephant With Friday Kahlo Eyebrows and a Bush Like a Bavarian Forest That Isn’t A Mammoth But Is More Mammoth-Like Than Most Normal Elephants.” The miraculous elephant was paraded through the streets of Palo Alto, California, where onlookers could admire its out-of-control pubic hair and thick, striking brows. Scientists worldwide agree that the results are a landmark achievement in quest to produce the first living mammoth the world has seen in 4,000 years.
“Through cutting-edge gene editing techniques, we have been able to target elephant genes that determine a given pachyderm’s eyebrow length and thickness, as well as the genes that determine how bonkers and shockingly huge an elephant’s bush is,” said Professor Amanda Gehry, one of the lead researchers on the project, in a press conference earlier today. “Our ability to manipulate these genes specifically has allowed us to create a creature that is in some ways just as insanely hairy as the mammoths of old. It’s not a full-blown mammoth, but it’s not nothing either.”
“Seriously, this thing’s bush is absolutely out of control,” Professor Gehry added. “It looks like someone dyed a Marge Simpson wig brown and fastened it to this elephant’s crotch. It’s a massive triumph for science.”
This is so cool! Just when you think science can’t get any more astounding, a study like this comes along to blow our minds yet again. Seeing an elephant with eyebrows this big and a bush this bananas gives us hope that a real-life mammoth isn’t too far behind–and we can’t wait!
