Press "Enter" to skip to content

Level Up! This Man Just Bought An $8 Set Of Weird, Off-Brand Tongs From HomeGoods To Replace The $4 Set Of IKEA Brand Tongs He’s Been Using Since 2013

If you’re feeling stuck in life and are worried that things will never get better, here’s a story of a man achieving his true potential that will inspire you to strive for greater things: this man just bought an $8 set of weird, off-brand tongs from HomeGoods to replace the $4 set of IKEA brand tongs he’s been using since 2013!

Amazing! Truly anything is possible if you’re willing to dream big!

Earlier today, 27-year-old Jeremy Procter took charge of his own destiny by purchasing a brand-new set of nice silicone-tipped metal tongs from HomeGoods, proving to himself and the world that he is capable of much bigger things than the shitty bright green plastic tongs from IKEA that he’s been using since inheriting them from a roommate back in college. At the age now where he has a stable full-time job and a bit of savings, it suddenly dawned on Jeremy that he’s finally at a point in life where modest self-improvement is within his reach. Having the good sense to realize that he couldn’t just go from zero to 60 and spring for the fancy $32 tongs endorsed by Rachael Ray, he instead opted to buy an $8 set from a more generic-seeming brand called Modern Cook that still looked pretty respectable and, with genuine metal grips, probably wouldn’t warp in the dishwasher like his junky IKEA ones. 

The former Jeremy would never have even ventured into a Home Goods store—typically, he would find the cheapest possible option for any given item online and purchase it sight unseen, even if multiple reviews mentioned poor quality or a strange smell. But now, having ascended the consumer ladder several rungs, he was able to not only seek out a product of reasonable quality but also choose between multiple promising options in his $7 to $12 price range. Indeed, he felt like he’d entered a whole exciting new world of possibilities as he carefully weighed the Modern Cook set against a similarly alluring $13 set from a brand called KitchenNecessities, the latter of which he ultimately determined was too extravagant for a man of his means. But after years of exclusively accumulating the cheapest possible kitchenware, simply having the power to consider things like functionality and design when choosing a product was incredibly intoxicating, making him feel like a king. 

Indeed, in buying those $8 tongs, he instantly crossed a threshold into a better life, a life where he now feels empowered to spend slightly more money on things he absolutely needs yet still maintains the good sense to not go crazy splurging on obscene luxuries like organic groceries and guacamole at Chipotle. Though he will always remember the days when he would often burn himself using the heat-warped IKEA tongs to flip frozen Aldi chicken breasts on his $50 garage-sale grill, he will never again be that same man.  


What an incredible story. It is beyond inspiring to witness such a remarkable personal transformation. We hope all the best for Jeremy and his new decent-quality tongs.