Ever since Sunday afternoon, nobody’s heard from Dad which can only mean one thing: The Cowboy’s must’ve lost, because Dad has been locked in his room blasting “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol and moaning for the last three days.
Oh, God. Here we go again.
Even though Dad has witnessed a great many Cowboys losses over the years, he apparently still doesn’t know how to cope with it, as following the team’s overtime loss to the Jaguars on Sunday, Dad’s been playing Snow Patrol’s 2006 hit while loudly singing along through painful sobs. Because Dad doesn’t know how to use Spotify or Apple Music or anything like that, he’s just been watching the song’s music video on YouTube over and over on the crappy second generation iPad he won in a raffle, like, ten years ago, and at this point, he’s even melodramatically reciting the YouTube ads too.
To make matters even worse, Dad has refused to unlock the door to let Mom inside the room, so Mom’s been sleeping on the couch all week and complaining nonstop about the resulting sciatica pain, making things considerably more annoying for the rest of us. And, maddeningly, Mom has only been enabling Dad’s whiny-ass behavior by leaving meals outside the door three times a day, even though she surely knows that if she didn’t bring Dad food, he’d only last in there, like, two hours tops before he’d have to leave the room to eat some snacks.
God, this is so fucking annoying.
Hey, Dad? Not to be rude, but can you please just stop moping around and crying about football? You’re 65 years old. Plus, you’re the breadwinner, so you need to go make money for the family. Just pretend that the Cowboys won and put an end to this miserable bullshit already.
