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Refreshing Transparency: Domino’s Has Announced That No Matter How Good Their Coupons Seem, Your Order Is Always Going To Add Up To, Like, $42

While many dishonest companies employ unscrupulous tactics in order to rob customers of their hard-earned dollars, one brand is stepping up to demonstrate unflinching honesty about their pricing, consequences be damned: Domino’s had announced that no matter how good their coupons seem, your order is always going to end up being, like, $42.

Incredibly refreshing! And that, folks, is how you tell it to your customers straight.

In a disclaimer posted this morning on the Domino’s website, the popular pizza chain made a statement reading, “Domino’s cares about our customers. So we want you to know that while our special offers, including our Mix and Match Deal, Perfect Combo Deal, and 20% Off Your Entire Order may give you the impression that you are ordering a meal that is going to feed for people for around $16.50, your order is going to end up being, like, $42. No matter how judicious you are about calculating which of our coupons will give you the best value and not going overboard on adding additional toppings and dipping sauces not included in the coupon, you’re going to end up paying about double what you expect. You can do the math all you want, but trust us, it’s going to add up to almost $50 bucks. And yes, that’s even if you’re using your Domino’s Rewards points or have a free Emergency Pizza. Somehow, those won’t end up really mattering for your total.”

The disclaimer continues, “The reality of ordering Domino’s is that, as much as you want it to be a convenient way to feed a small group of people at a fair price, it’s actually $42. After realizing that the total is that much, you might briefly consider going to pick the pizza up yourself to save the delivery fee and tip, but that defeats the purpose of ordering Domino’s in the first place. Just accept it: your meal is going to be delivered and it’s going to be $42. Sure, if you’re lucky enough to already have soda at home, that’ll save you $4, but then you’ve gotta order Chocolate Lava Crunch Cakes, so now you’re at $46. We hope that our transparency will alleviate any surprises at your next board game night when you order what you think is going to be a couple of cheap fast food pizzas for a small group to snack on and it ends up costing as much as a nice sweater.”

This is so cool! You’ve gotta respect a brand as fully transparent as this.

While this up-front statement about the weird Domino’s math that somehow causes your meal to cost around $42 no matter what may lose Domino’s some sales, it might also gain them some new customers who appreciate a company with the integrity to be honest about their pricing. This is so impressive. Next time we have $42, we’re definitely going to order Domino’s.