Celebrities’ silence on important social issues can often be deafening, but there are a handful of Hollywood stars who choose to use their privileged platforms to do more than just promote their latest vanity projects. The latest heroic example of a celeb who isn’t afraid to fight for what’s right? Minka Kelly has announced that Civil War generals who fought on the Confederate side ain’t getting none of this.
Boom! And that, folks, is how you stand up for what you believe in.
In a recent Instagram post, the Friday Night Lights star made her feelings on the possibility of hooking up with someone who commanded a battalion of troops in the Civil War known loud and clear. Under a smoking hot photo of herself, she wrote, “Heads up to any Confederate Civil War generals who want a piece: You ain’t getting none of this. What your side stood for in the Civil War—slavery and the oppression of human beings—is one of my biggest turn-offs. You can look, but you’ll never touch!!!!!! I’m talking to you, Stonewall Jackson. I’m talking to you, P.G.T. Beauregard.”
The lengthy post caption went on to explain that “No matter how hot your white mutton chops are, no matter how many sexy cannonball scars you have, no matter what kind of prowess your cavalry showed on the battlefield with their sabers, no matter how many times your tactics deftly led your brigade to victory, you ain’t gonna hold my hand, you ain’t gonna kiss my lips, and we DEFINITELY ain’t going back to your canvas tent. For the crimes you committed against this nation and the human race you are forever in the Friend Zone, sorry not sorry. If you fought for the North, however, my DMs are wide open. That’s one of the many benefits of being a decent human being. Maybe you should try it sometime.”
Yes yes yes Minka! Let those Confederate generals know that they’re never, ever getting a taste!
More of this, please. Hollywood stars need to start finding the backbone to stand up for their beliefs like Minka even if it risks tainting their “brand.” Despicable people like the military officers who led combat units for the South in the Civil War shouldn’t be able to get with beautiful actresses like Minka Kelly, full stop. So her decision to stop playing it safe and say something about how there ain’t no way they’re gonna smash that is something that we, as a society, should celebrate. We are here for it! Bravo, Minka!
