Wowwwww, would you take a look at this? We’ve just come across a special little guy with a highly refined lifestyle who is very clearly better he is than the rest of us: Mr. Fancy Man over here is cleaning his house.
Well, well, well…looks like we’ve found ourselves a real Martha Stewart!
Mr. Fancy Man, aka Adrian Booker of Northampton, Connecticut, got up at 8:30 this morning and immediately set to work transforming his apartment from a perfectly serviceable dump into a palace fit for King Charles of England himself. Adrian put in his AirPods, cranked some Beach House, and mopped his floor with a Swiffer, not even stopping for a second to think that maybe the film of grime on his kitchen linoleum was’t hurting anybody and could probably be left alone for another week or so. The 27-year-old film colorist then pranced on over to the bathroom, where he sprayed the toilet down with Lysol (linen scented no less!) and emptied the wastepaper basket even though it was only, like, three quarters of the way full.
Yep, guess while the rest of us slobs were laying on the couch hungover and eating cold pizza crusts with the shades drawn, Adrian decided he was going to spend the day dusting like some magical Mary Poppins. He even sprayed a few squirts of Windex on his bathroom mirror and used newspaper to wipe it so it wouldn’t streak instead of just waiting for the shower to steam it up and wiping it with a towel. Looks like he’s too good to have little pieces of towel fuzz all over his mirror like the rest of us! Nothing but the best for our Fancy Little Guy!
The most remarkable thing about Prince Fancy’s impromptu tidying and sanitizing session is that he doesn’t even have a date tonight or a visit from his parents coming up or any other actual reason for cleaning his house. Nope, apparently he is just a man of sophisticated tastes who just couldn’t STAND having a few dirty plates on the floor next to his bed or a football-sized wad of cat hair stuck to his carpet like us average Joes. This special man knows what he likes, and he likes it FANCY.
Look at Mr. Fancy Man go!
It’s now 9:26 am and Adrian is showing no sign of slowing down. In fact, he’s actually straightening out the pillows on his bed a little and picking the cat hairs off of them by hand. What comes next for this king of fanciness? A nice soak in the tub while sipping on tea and eating caviar? A manicure before heading to the opera? Whatever it is, let’s all take a moment to put on our white gloves and give Mr. Fancy Man a gentle round of applause. He deserves it.
