Your grandmother loved you so, so much. After entering hospice care, she told us she wanted you, out of everyone in the family, to have her list of 5 times Steve Harvey couldn’t even. She knew you’d take care of it.
1.
Your grandmother held these photos of Steve Harvey shaking his damn head very dear to her heart. They were as important to her as the locket holding a picture of her own grandmother that she passed down to your mom. Until the day she died, Steve Harvey’s consternation over the dirty minds of Family Feud contestants served as a great source of comfort to your grandmother, especially towards the end, during the hardest days of her treatments. Now, this JPG of Steve Harvey frowning—a small memento of her love for you—is yours to do with as you will.
2.
When Steve Harvey asked if a Family Feud contestant was outta their damn mind for giving their 25 year-old adult child an allowance, it gave your your grandmother the strength to get through some of the hardest moments of her life, like her dementia diagnosis, and your grandfather’s passing. Though she was not a religious woman, you could say that Steve Harvey’s inability to believe the foolishness he’d just heard was like a rosary necklace to her. May his incredulous scowl bring you such peace of mind in times of trouble, just like it did your grandmother.
3.
Yes, your sisters inherited her wedding china and jewelry collection. But your grandmother specifically requested that you, and no one else, have this picture of Steve Harvey looking ready to scream “you need God in your life!” at a Family Feud contestant who guessed “fart” as an answer to the category “Name something you like to do after work.” Remember how happy it made her? It meant more to her than any of her valuables. And it’s how she wants you to remember her.
4.
All these times that Steve Harvey died inside and started hollering about how he didn’t want to host this show no more? When the day comes, if you like, you can pass them down to your child, or grandchild, or anyone who holds a very special place in your life—like you did in your grandmother’s. Cherish these Steve Harvey meltdowns like she cherished you.
5.
As long as you have this list of Steve Harvey not having that nonsense, wondering what the hell kind of show his contestants even think they’re on, giving answers like “big hiney” and “coochie” on national TV, your grandmother will always be with you. Always.
