If you’re having a rough day, at least be thankful you aren’t Joseph Tufaro, 32, of Bridgeport, CT, who just had the rug pulled out from under him in a truly devastating way: This man just learned he’s barely 5’11” on the dot after genuinely thinking he was 5’11.5” for years.
What a punch to the gut. Poor guy’s probably having a full-blown identity crisis.
During a routine physical this morning, Joseph’s heart skipped a beat when his doctor reported his height as “just about five-eleven,” a half-inch shorter than he’d thought he was since his early 20s, and an entire inch shorter than the 6’ height he’d claimed on dating apps for just as long. Until today, Joseph had never even questioned his height, having gone about his life with the confidence of a man on the right side of average stature — a confidence that’s now irreparably shattered, knowing he’s actually more like the tallest version of a short guy than the shortest version of a tall guy. Joseph has officially lost the God-given right of 5’11.5” men to round up to 6’, and that’s a type of pain we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy.
Without a doubt, the psychic fallout of this is going to haunt Joseph for a long, long time. The difference between 5’11” and 5’11.5” may seem marginal, but mentally, Joseph may as well have just learned he’s 5’2”. For men in the 5’11” – 6’ height range, every centimeter is utterly, utterly crucial. To put it in perspective, it would’ve hurt far less to find out he was 20 pounds heavier than he’d assumed, rather than a half-inch shorter.
Ugh. This is so, so sad.
Everything Joseph thought he knew about himself has been called into question. He must feel so much smaller in the world right now. Hang in there, Joseph.
