They say that what you don’t know can’t hurt you, and now, one major reproductive health company is here to help people stay blissfully ignorant: Clearblue has released a pregnancy test that doesn’t say anything if you’re pregnant.
Nice! Sometimes it’s best to just be completely oblivious to things.
Getting a positive result on a pregnancy test can be incredibly stressful: You have to stop drinking, start worrying about financially supporting another human being, schedule countless doctor appointments, and grapple with the realization that your life is going to drastically change forever. But thankfully, Clearblue’s new pregnancy test will display a question mark whether it detects hCG in the user’s urine or not, so that they can simply continue enjoying their lives with a clean conscience and zero awareness of what’s happening in their womb.
Clearblue says that their test is best used between the first five and 20 weeks of a potential pregnancy, but it will do its job throughout a pregnant woman’s full term as long as they are willing to believe that maybe they’re gaining weight due to over-snacking, or missing their period due to stress. “Why worry about the possibility of a fully formed, helpless human being coming into your life and completely changing everything when you could just not worry about things and keep having fun?” said the company in a press release. “Don’t curse yourself with the knowledge of impending parenthood. Just use Clearblue’s zero-information pregnancy tests. Que sera sera, y’know?”
Sounds great!
These new pregnancy tests are going to be a serious game-changer for those who may or may not be pregnant. The days of worrying about what’s happening in your body are over!
