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Like so many young women, I struggled for years with a negative body image. No matter how much I dieted or how many extra sets I’d squeeze in at the gym, I always seemed to fall short of reaching the beauty standards set by TV and magazines. As my efforts increased, so too did my frustration, and only when I finally decided that enough was enough did I realize something: My body is perfect just the way it is, and everyone else should be molded to my shape.
It didn’t happen overnight. But by taking time to redefine the relationship I had with my body, I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror and see the person that everyone else should be. I learned that my figure is not a work in progress; it is the ideal shape, and others should transform themselves to replicate it by any means necessary.
Having this perfect body doesn’t mean crash diets or going to the gym five times a week, but I recommend those things to others if that’s what they need to do to look exactly like me. Unless they’re more fit than I am, in which case they should gain weight until my precise dimensions are met.
It didn’t happen overnight. But by taking time to redefine the relationship I had with my body, I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror and see the person that everyone else should be.
The billboards, the magazines, the late-night infomercials—they all tell us that the ideal woman is a size two with perfect skin, but it’s all a fiction. A real woman looks exactly like me, and everyone should feel empowered to take their own unique approach to sculpting their body to match my body exactly, right down to calf circumference and shoulder-to-waist ratio.
To any woman reading this right now who feels bad about her pant size or her bustline, I say that you are beautiful just the way you are, provided that your body so mirrors mine that if I committed a heinous murder, the police would pull you in for questioning and detain you for at least one night. Only then will you truly love yourself.
Now that I accept my body and require it of everyone else, I hope to serve as an example to all women, to help them alter their bodies into uncanny replicas of my perfect physical appearance. I feel good about myself now, and everybody can too, if they do exactly what I have done.
