There’s nothing like seeing someone get the comeuppance they so richly deserve, and one budding kleptomaniac just paid a price that could not be better suited to match his offense: This toddler who picked up a bunch of bananas in Target was ordered by his mother to put it back right now.
Boom. Justice is served, motherfucker!
Three-year-old Jackson Cressler probably thought he’d hit the jackpot when he curiously waddled over to a display case of bananas at Target and picked an especially enticing bunch from the pile—bananas are Jackson’s favorite food, and they were the one produce display low enough for his stubby little arms and legs to reach. But his scheme came crashing down when his mother looked up from the pears she was checking for bruises to catch the fruit-snatching troublemaker in the act, and the judgment she delivered was as deliciously ironic as it was swift: instead of letting him keep his ill-gotten gains or simply levy some kind of light fine, Jackson’s mother laid down the law and demanded he immediately put the banana bunch back with his own two sticky-fingered hands and come sit in the cart where she could keep an eye on him.
Not since the myths of the Greek underworld has a punishment been so perfectly tailored to the sins of a transgressor. For one thing, Jackson doesn’t get to eat any of the bananas now that he’s been ordered to put them back. He’ll have to watch them sit there just tantalizingly out of reach while his mom hunts through the grapefruit display to find the juicy ripe ones, the memory of the bananas’ pleasing heft in his arms slowly slipping away into the dim and irretrievable past while the bitter void of their absence swallows him whole. There’s also the devastating likelihood that another shopper will come by and put the bunch of bananas Jackson so coveted into their own cart instead, annihilating any last shreds of hope Jackson may have had that his mother would relent and let him pick up the bananas again. He can pout and whimper “‘nanas!” as much as he wants while pitifully waving his arms in their direction, but it won’t change a damn thing. He fucked up big-time picking up that bunch of bananas, and having to put it back right now is pretty much a flawless ending to this cautionary tale of short-sighted greed.
Fuck around and find out, little dude. Karma’s a bitch!
“Honey, Mommy just bought bananas for you yesterday, we don’t need more” said Jackson’s mom as she shot down his teary-eyed appeal to go back for the bananas, sticking firmly to her guns in a victory for every law-abiding citizen tired of seeing the rules that bind society so brazenly flouted. Honestly, he should have known she’d be running low on patience after his little stunt trying to eat some discarded french fries he found out in the Target’s parking lot, but some toddlers just want to watch the world burn, and the only way to rein in their chaotic impulses is to watch them like a hawk or put them up somewhere high where they can’t reach stuff.
It’s nice to see this cheeky bastard getting his just deserts. Kudos to Jackson’s mom for bringing some good old-fashioned justice back to the grocery section of Target!
