Digital media has been on a consistent downward trend, with layoffs and budget cuts becoming ever more frequent, and sadly, this latest media news is just more of the same: This man worked for 13 years on Garfield and Odie slash fic only for GarfieldSmut.com to lose its freelance budget before his piece could be published.
Just heartbreaking.
Since 2012, Philadelphia resident Cooper Faherty has been working on “When Garfield Met Odie,” his “When Harry Met Sally”-themed Garfield slash fic where Garfield and Odie scissor after Odie fakes an orgasm at a diner. After building confidence by spending several months masturbating to his own idea, Cooper finally submitted his pitch to GarfieldSmut.com, where it was accepted with the provision that Jon Arbuckle spend the entire scene playing with his balls under the table. Cooper then spent several more years revising his 10,000 word erotic story under the guidance of GarfieldSmut’s editor-in-chief until it was no longer merely a “piece,” but truly his “opus.”
Sadly, though, that was 2017, and while Cooper was waiting for his piece to go up, GarfieldSmut announced a pivot to video. According to GarfieldSmuts’s editorial assistant, the only way “When Garfield Wet Odie”—as it was now called due to the Chief Content Officer’s mandate to “keep things juicy”—could be published was if Cooper reformatted it into a short-form video script that GarfieldSmut’s to-be-announced host could deliver straight to camera. It would be part of a refillable series called “Bedtime Cummies,” which was “sort of a play on the concept of bedtime stories, only instead of sleep they make yu [sic] cum,” explained the editorial assistant.
And so, although Cooper quickly turned his 40-page masterpiece to a two-page video script, even purchasing expensive screenwriting software on his own dime to do so, the video was never uploaded, and only one episode of “Bedtime Cummies” was ever even released. After the pilot episode premiered, YummiPantiez, an edible underwear company, reached out to GarfieldSmut with an offer to sponsor the first season of Bedtime Cummies. Though several episodes were produced, including Cooper’s, they were under embargo until YummiPantiez could release their new “Ginger Jizz,” flavor, which, from what Cooper could tell, was either supposed to taste like ginger ale and jizz or a ginger’s jizz. But unfortunately, before the embargo was up, YummiPantiez was shuttered by the FDA after a listeria outbreak was traced back to their Sassy Grape g-strings. Soon after, GarfieldSmut stopped hosting videos altogether.
However, with this change came hope. GarfieldSmut was to make a return to its prose origins, and the very first article to be published would be Cooper’s original piece—his opus! It was slated for publication: March 11, 2020. Yes, the day the WHO declared Covid-19 a pandemic. In the wake of such unprecedented times, GarfieldSmut shifted to posting exclusively uplifting smut—heartwarming tales of Garfield, Nermal, and Odie licking assholes to promote community—and pieces with darker undertones (like Cooper’s, which featured a long description of the sexual abuse Odie suffered during childhood) were indefinitely moved to the backlog.
In the ensuing years, a round of layoffs, a round of voluntary buyouts, and another round of layoffs knocked the once robust staff of GarfieldSmut to a mere three full-time employees and a skeleton crew of poorly paid freelancers. And Cooper, who had once dreamed he’d be able to transition the success of his article into a full blown smut career, was so exhausted from the complications of his long Covid that he no longer cared to even see his byline on his favorite erotic blog. So it was completely out of the blue when GarfieldSmut’s now-managing editor— formerly the editorial assistant—reached back out to Cooper to say she’d always had a soft spot for “When Garfield Met Odie,” as it was the very first article she’d ever J/O’d to on the job. Under her guidance, GarfieldSmut was transitioning back to its editorial roots, and she wanted to finally publish Cooper’s prose piece. As she explained, with Trump returning to office and wokeness on the outs, she could even publish Cooper’s original description of how “Garfield tweaked Odie’s nipples much like a ***** person.” Cooper was so delighted he worked himself into a coughing fit, once again a complication of his long Covid.
But when Cooper woke up this past Monday morning, he was greeted by the worst email of his life. GarfieldSmut’s managing editor had written to him to say that the site had lost its freelance budget, as its parent company, Vox Media Group, would be relying on AI to write smut moving forward. Cooper walked away from his computer, threw out the celebratory lasagna he’d meal-prepped the night before, and went to bed. Garfield was right to hate Mondays.
Tragically, the future of the piece remains unclear. Cooper is unsure if he can legally take the piece to other sites like OogleOdie and JONARBUCKLENUDE.CO, as the contract he signed way back in 2012 is difficult to decipher without a law degree, and GarfieldSmut’s HR representative was laid off long, long ago.
God, this is just so depressing. All that work, all those years, all for nothing. So much depends upon a digital media company. If you own one, pay the employees well and often, regardless of how many people read the site or how much money it makes! If a piece of content makes even one person smile or mastubate, it’s worth it.
Here’s hoping Cooper finds the courage in this dark time to continue sharing his gift with the world, as there are surely dozens of people who’d love to read about Odie giving Garfield the bukkake of his life.
