If you played with Barbie dolls as a kid, you’re going to love the latest news out of Mattel, who just revealed its coolest evolution of Barbie yet: Mattel and The Gerald Ford Presidential Library are teaming up to release a limited edition Barbie whose job is feeding Gerald Ford grapes in Heaven.
So amazing. We wish we had a Barbie like this growing up!
Marking the toy giants’ first collaboration with University of Michigan’s Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library, Mattel’s latest press release unveiled plans for a Barbie who works as a servant for Gerald Ford in the afterlife, where she spends all eternity feeding the former POTUS grapes from a gold platter as he basks in luxury on a throne of fine silk pillows (and occasionally Barbie’s lap). According to the announcement, Barbie has been hand-feeding President Ford grapes since the moment he passed away in 2006, and because it’s impossible to feel full when you’re in Heaven, Barbie never, ever stops feeding him grapes, and she never will, which is why President Ford makes sure to say “More” after every single grape she puts in his mouth!
Finally, every girl in America can have the perfect Barbie to pair with their Gerald Ford dolls. This hard-working, first-of-its-kind Barbie won’t just be fun to play with, but it’s also set to make millions of little girls interested in learning more about Gerald Ford and how they can serve him in the afterlife too.
“Not only has this special edition Barbie lived a pious life which was deemed worthy of Heaven in the eyes of God after she died suddenly of bacterial sepsis at the age of 24, but she’s also been assigned to one of the most privileged jobs in all of God’s Kingdom: personal grape-feeder to one-term president Gerald Ford,” explained Mattel in their public memo, noting that this Barbie’s accessories include a halo, a revealingly thin robe, a grape platter, and massive, oiled up breasts for President Ford’s soul to leer at as he laps up the rewards of eternal paradise.
“Barbie sometimes wishes she had a different job in Heaven, since President Ford’s insatiable appetite is very tiring to accommodate. But even when she asks President Ford’s soul for a break and he mutters, “No,” Barbie persists anyway, like the hard-working woman she is! Thankfully, Barbie’s found friends in her coworkers, Kayla and Desiree, who, respectively, belly dance for President Ford and fan him with palm fronds. After a long eon of pampering President Ford, Barbie and her work friends bond by silently glancing at each other as they continue spoiling him. With new friends by her side, Barbie will prove to girls everywhere that sky’s the limit when it comes to the appetite of a president’s soul.”
Wow. Mattel has really hit it out of the park with this Barbie!
Without a doubt, this Barbie is going to make waves as soon as it hits store shelves. If there’s a toy that’s cooler and honors President Ford more than this, we haven’t heard of it! Way to go, Mattel!
