Typically, a president works hand in hand with federal agencies to enact policy, but Donald Trump is clearly dead set on shattering that mold. Just two weeks into his presidency, he has once again sent the federal government into complete chaos with a single stroke of his pen: President Trump has signed into law a piece of paper containing only the words “HOT CUBE,” and federal agencies have been scrambling to figure out just what that means ever since.
Oof. Looks like the Trump administration really bungled the rollout on this one.
Just minutes after Trump’s “HOT CUBE” order was signed this morning, the State Department, unsure how to interpret the two-word directive, recommended that all its employees avoid cubes of any temperature until further clarification from the president. An equally confused CDC issued an immediate memorandum that all cubes must be heated to 160 degrees Fahrenheit for safety, while military leaders began drawing up plans for an air raid on Cairo, certain that the president’s “hot cubes” were a coded reference to Egypt’s desert pyramids. The Department of Homeland Security, meanwhile, temporarily grounded all flights that did not have hot cubes on board, before later reversing their stance and declaring that only hot-cube-free planes were safe for travel.
Yikes. Members of the president’s staff have gotten their wires crossed, to say the least.
Though he’s presenting a strong front, it looks as though even Sean Spicer is a bit baffled by this latest order: “Hot Cube has so far been a resounding success and will undoubtedly go down in history as one of the greatest triumphs of this administration,” Spicer announced in a press conference shortly after the order had been issued. “President Trump’s order is ensuring that American cubes are among the hottest cubes in the world or condemning American cubes for being too hot, and either is something to applaud.”
Um, okay. When not even the press secretary can make heads or tails of your order, you know you’ve really screwed up.
For anyone who thinks they can parse Donald Trump’s meaning, here is the full text of the Executive Order:
Whether “HOT CUBE” is a public policy, a military order, or merely an innocuous declaration of the president’s interests in 3D shapes remains to be seen. What its rollout does demonstrate is just how much disarray still persists in this new government, and how many communication hurdles Trump must overcome if he hopes to be the effective leader he claims.
What a mess.
