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My Cousins Are Big, My Cousins Smell Good, I Watch Them Play Video Games Like A Good Cousin Should

Mom buckles me in, for we will go far

To visit my cousins in our family car.

We drive and we drive ‘til the mountains appear

Which can only mean one thing:

My cousins are near!

As we approach, I get a big whiff

Of that special cousin smell I love to sniff.


My cousins smell like sour taffy

Mixed with burnt wood

Yes, they smell strange, but surprisingly good.

They smell sweet yet familiar

Like gum and gasoline

They can always be smelled

Before they are seen.


Soon we arrive, their smell is so strong

This must be their house, there’s no way I’m wrong!

Up runs their dog, who I push away

I’m here for my cousins—I must see them play!


They greet us out front, each of them tall

My cousins are the tallest cousins of all! 

The boys have bowl cuts, while the girls all sport curls

They’re the best-smelling cousins in the whole wide world!

One cousin is named Donald, another named Jay,

Who also wants the name Donald, so they wrestle all day.

There’s Mike and Sarah and Laura and Wayne,

And the freckled-faced one who’s never told us their name.


We all run inside and head to the TV

And turn on the video games I’m dying to see

For hours they play the games they adore

While I quietly sit and watch on the floor.

At one point they ask if I want a turn

But I politely decline, for I’m here to learn.

I’m a scholar of my cousins, I study their ways

It’s my job to watch, it’s their job to play.


They play a game called Mario about a small jumping guy

With a mustache so scary that it makes me cry

I scream and I hide beneath a lampshade

‘Til I hear my cousins say, “Don’t be afraid!”

“His mustache cannot hurt you, nor his spiky shells!”

“Come out from the lampshade! Take comfort in our smells!”

I nervously emerge to face my fear

And soon find myself smiling from ear to ear

Turns out Mario is kind, not scary as he seemed

And when I’m smelling my cousins, life is but a dream. 


Soon it’s time to go, and Mom puts on my coat

I don’t want to leave, but I don’t get a vote.

I’m fixed a plate to go, but to that I say nay

For my cousins’ smell is all I need to keep going for days.