Raising my son Jared has been the most rewarding experience of my entire life. However, as any mother will tell you, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. In navigating parenthood, it’s all too easy to stress over the pace of your child’s development, especially if they’re struggling to reach milestones that their peers have already checked off. For example, my son is 8 years old: Is he too old to still be 8?
Perhaps I’m biased by my own personal experience. When I was 8 years old, I was 30 years old, and so were most of my friends. That’s just how it was back then. Of course, things have changed, and in today’s world, that’s a lot to expect of a child. However, even Jared’s classmates, all 8 years old, seem to have grown out of being 8, and are all at least 16. Yes, it feels ugly to compare your own kid to other children, but it’s hard not to when Jared’s best friend, who he’s known since they started pre-school together when they were both 3, is already 23.
I first noticed Jared might be different when he turned 8 this past February and immediately remained just 8 years old. I took him with me to pick out balloons for his birthday party, where he insisted on a balloon in the shape of an 8. Taken aback, I said, “Are you sure? How about those balloons that say ‘Happy 50th Birthday,’ instead?” Jared wouldn’t have it. “No mom, I’m 8.” I shrugged it off at the time and figured he’d grow out of it eventually. But he hasn’t.
Recently, at a check-up, the pediatrician pulled me aside and asked me how long Jared had been 8, and I said about 5 months. The pediatrician’s eyebrows raised. My heart skipped a beat. He then insisted it wasn’t exactly a problem yet, just something I ought to keep an eye on, and that if he isn’t 13 years old or so by the time he turns 9, we should consider professional intervention. I pray it doesn’t come to that.
Thankfully, Jared’s otherwise in perfect health, but at such a crucial age for social, emotional, and intellectual development, I lose sleep over what being 8 could mean for an 8-year-old’s growth down the line. I know kids grow and mature at different paces, but it’s hard not to feel worried when your 8-year-old keeps missing crucial developmental milestones like turning 11 or 12 or 15, especially when so many kids born in the same year are now old enough to have 8-year-olds of their own. I’ve already noticed people staring at Jared in public, undoubtedly wondering Why is that 8-year-old only 8 years old? Does he have some sort of medical condition? It breaks my heart, and I have to keep reminding Jared that God made him this way for a reason.
Even if my son is 8 for the rest of his life, I’ll love him every bit as much as I do now. I only worry that his peers will treat him differently for being 8. My heart breaks imagining Jared’s classmates saying he can’t sit with them at lunch because he’s still 8 and not 16 like “normal” 8 year olds. Call me a worrywart, but any parent with a heart can empathize with that. If you’re also a parent whose child is still 8 at 8 years old, please reach out in the comments, as any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
