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covid-19

Preparing For The Worst: President Trump Has Asked For Ronald McDonald To Sing ‘Sexual Healing’ At His Funeral If He Dies Of Covid-19

Preparing For The Worst: President Trump Has Asked For Ronald McDonald To Sing ‘Sexual Healing’ At His Funeral If He Dies Of Covid-19

October 5, 2020

A Return To Normalcy: This P.E. Teacher Has Emailed All Of His Students A Picture Of His Buttcrack Because If This Were A Normal School Year They Would’ve Seen It By Now

A Return To Normalcy: This P.E. Teacher Has Emailed All Of His Students A Picture Of His Buttcrack Because If This Were A Normal School Year They Would’ve Seen It By Now

October 5, 2020

Good News: The CDC Says Watching A High School Football Practice Alone In The Bleachers While Looking Sullen And Staring Longingly At The Quarterback Who Doesn’t Even Notice You Because You Wear Glasses And Have Never Spoken To Anyone At School Except Your Gay Best Friend Is A ‘Low Risk’ Activity For COVID-19

Good News: The CDC Says Watching A High School Football Practice Alone In The Bleachers While Looking Sullen And Staring Longingly At The Quarterback Who Doesn’t Even Notice You Because You Wear Glasses And Have Never Spoken To Anyone At School Except Your Gay Best Friend Is A ‘Low Risk’ Activity For COVID-19

September 28, 2020

A Career Cut Short: Bryce Harper Has Quit Baseball Because He Says One Of The Cardboard Cutout Fans Called Him A ‘Fat Boy’

A Career Cut Short: Bryce Harper Has Quit Baseball Because He Says One Of The Cardboard Cutout Fans Called Him A ‘Fat Boy’

September 23, 2020

A Silver Lining To Covid: After Months Of Decreased Pollution With Humans In Lockdown, Gorilla Populations Are Starting To Develop Rudimentary Nuclear Weapons

A Silver Lining To Covid: After Months Of Decreased Pollution With Humans In Lockdown, Gorilla Populations Are Starting To Develop Rudimentary Nuclear Weapons

September 22, 2020

Science FTW! Researchers Who Probably Should Have Been Working On A Coronavirus Vaccine Just Discovered A New Species Of Tree Frog!

Science FTW! Researchers Who Probably Should Have Been Working On A Coronavirus Vaccine Just Discovered A New Species Of Tree Frog!

August 13, 2020

Public Safety Win: Pennsylvania Will Open Schools For One Day In September So Everyone Can See Which Students Got Hot Over The Summer Before Returning To Online Learning

Public Safety Win: Pennsylvania Will Open Schools For One Day In September So Everyone Can See Which Students Got Hot Over The Summer Before Returning To Online Learning

August 10, 2020