The night your wife comes over for dinner is always the best night of the month, and naturally, you want to have a delicious meal ready for when she walks through the door. Try one of these six easy, tasty recipes and you’ll have your wife asking to stay for dessert!
1. Herb-roasted chicken with potatoes
The church bells are ringing, the neighborhood dogs are barking, and all the network TV channels are playing the “Wife Arrival” test pattern, because the woman you married is on her way over for dinner! She’ll smell this large and imposing herbed chicken as soon as she pulls into the parking spot labeled “For Wife” that you spray-painted onto your lawn for her, and soon the two of you will be sitting down to dig into crispy potatoes cut into the curvy wedge shape that every wife dreams about. Put this huge and shapely meal on the docket immediately and your wife will be asking if you went to culinary school at Harvard—score!
2. Lentil curry
Lentil curry has a complex flavor profile, but it’s so easy to make that it’ll take only 30 minutes total from the moment your bookie arrives at your house to act as your sous chef for Wife Dinner preparations. The creamy coconut milk combined with spicy curry powder will make your wife yell so loud that your bookie will get down from your roof where he’s been pouring cinnamon sugar onto your dinner table through your skylight and run all the way home. If you serve this curry with a heaping pile of warm rice, you’ll have everything you need to ensure that your wife will be back next month to have dinner with you again. Plus, you can bring the leftovers to work all week—or let your wife take some home with her!
3. Spaghetti Bolognese
When you wake up six hours before your alarm on the day your wife is supposed to visit for dinner, don’t waste time watching the season of Wife Meal you’re supposed to summarize for her. Get to the butcher, buy some ground beef, and get cooking on a delicious meat sauce so protein-packed that your wife will smash a plate in excitement! While the sauce simmers, you’ll have time to sand and polish the dinner chair your wife will sit in at the head of your table. And don’t forget, you’ll have to send her a “PASTA TONIGHT FOR YOU, MY SPOUSE” text that afternoon to alert her to the mouthwatering meal that awaits her 1,500-mile journey to your place. Ciao bella!
4. Wife’s Surprise
Once you have the decorative bunting strung up around your house and “When A Man Loves A Woman” blaring on repeat over the outdoor speakers you installed all around your neighborhood, there’s no better dish you can put on your table than Wife’s Surprise—it is Wife Night, after all! This delicious loaf is made of meat from designated cows raised to recognize your wife’s face, and baked in a signature W shape to honor—who else—your wife. It’s not every night she comes over for dinner. Whip up some Wife’s Surprise and she’ll know that you know how to treat a woman right.
5. Pumpkin risotto
Risotto is a high-end dish that’s surprisingly easy to make and tastes so good your wife might just bend the rules and come over on one of the Monday nights intended for quiet, solitary contemplation of marriage. Make sure to ask your wife if she has any dietary restrictions before proceeding with this meal. It’s easy to sub out ingredients to make this dish gluten or dairy free, and it’s naturally vegetarian! When you’re sitting on your stoop writing a letter to God to thank him for your beautiful wife and waiting anxiously to hear her car pulling around the corner, you’ll rest easy in the knowledge that once she samples the easily digestible meal inside, she’ll be impressed beyond her wildest dreams.
6. Southwest chili
If you want a low-key, one-pot meal you can sit down and eat with your wife while you ask her about what her job is, Southwest chili is the meal for you. Turn up the heat with chili peppers, turn your thermostat to your wife’s favorite temperature, and settle in for a spicy meal with the only wife you’re married to. Garnish with tortilla chips to create a crunchy texture that your wife will be writing about in her diary all week. This chili is a well-rounded meal that says, “I truly love you, Wife,” loud and clear.
