Peloton, the fitness-focused company that took the country by storm with its series of high-tech exercise bikes, is raising the bar yet again with a new product that will make at-home workouts more immersive than ever: Peloton just announced that they will be manufacturing an indoor exercise bike that will have the exact same rate of accidental death as riding a bike outside!
So cool! Peloton truly is bringing the outdoor workout experience home to its customers, including all of the real world’s potential for random, horrific accidents.
According to Peloton’s website, the company’s new “V2” stationary bike will have more sophisticated controls and customization than ever before, as well as a state-of-the-art automatic kill mechanism that will occasionally murder users by forcefully ejecting them from their bikes into a nearby wall without any warning, simulating the violence and horrific suddenness of a real-life cycling accident!
This is truly a game-changer. Peloton has finally found a way to give customers the full experience of getting seriously injured on the street, right in the comfort of their own living rooms.
In order to achieve maximum authenticity, the Peloton V2 will not only kill a user mid-workout every once in a while, but it will also vary each “accident” so that customers will get to worry about over 200 uniquely horrifying death scenarios in the back of their minds every time they work out. Essentially, if it’s possible to die that way on a real bike, Peloton has made sure that there’s a small but ever-present possibility that you could die or get severely injured that way on your V2 bike as well!
It definitely sounds like fitness nuts everywhere are going to want to get their hands on this! The people at Peloton have really put in a ton of effort to give their customers an unmatched simulation of the experience of cycling and dying outdoors. If you want all the anxiety of almost getting hit by a car but don’t have the time to make it to a gym, you might want to keep an eye out for when it finally goes on sale!
