Men often like to be self-sufficient and want to try to do everything themselves, but you need to know your limits so you don’t end up in over your head. Here are six ways to drive your wife crazy in bed that are probably best left to the professionals.
1. Being dominant
It may not be politically correct, but the reality is many women are turned on by a man who can take command in the bedroom. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that for your wife you are that man. Odds are if you try to dominate your wife in the bedroom, she’ll just start laughing at your squeaky, nonthreatening voice and weak body, and dry up completely. Nope—if you think your wife might be into being dominated, it’s best to make some calls and try to find a professional who’s done this type of thing before.
2. Talking dirty
A little dirty talk in the bedroom can go a long way towards driving your wife crazy, but there are all sorts of words and only a few of them that will actually turn her on. If you say something along the lines of, “I think having sex is great,” or, “Do you like the way it feels when, uh…”, it could actually drive her crazy in a way you don’t want it to. That’s why finding a pro who is smooth, creative, and confident to talk dirty to your wife in the bedroom is so important. Like any task, sure, you can try to DIY, but doing the job incorrectly can cause more harm than good.
3. Using toys
From dildos to butt plugs to sex dolls, there are so many sex toys out there that it can be overwhelming to even know where to start. That’s where a professional can come in handy. From choosing the right size anal beads for your your wife’s anatomy, to knowing how to property lubricate a dildo before inserting it into her body, to making her squirt for the first time in her life with a vibrator, a professional has the experience and training that is really needed to get your wife off and you don’t. There’s no shame in admitting that.
4. Role playing
If your wife has ever expressed a fantasy of being a buxom wench who’s taken by a dastardly pirate or a naughty schoolgirl who needs a spanking, definitely don’t shy away from hitting up Angie’s List and seeing if there’s anyone in your area who can role play these scenarios with her. It’s doubtful that you have the acting chops to pull it off, and the last thing you want to do is spoil one of her deepest, darkest fantasies with your inexperience and lack of charm.
5. Giving her an erotic massage
A sensual massage can be a highly arousing experience for both the giver and the receiver…if you know what you’re doing (which you definitely don’t). There are so many muscle groups and erogenous zones in the human body that if you’re flying blind while trying to give your wife an erotic massage, odds are you’re just going to make her feel stressed at best and seriously injured at worst. A professional has the knowledge of anatomy and lotions necessary to rub and penetrate your wife in just the right spots, so it’s worth spending the money to have it done right.
6. Trying some light bondage
Experimenting with rope bondage is a great way to explore your wife’s kinky side, but knot tying is a lost art that few still practice. She wants to get wrapped up like a beautiful, high end gift, not unceremoniously knotted up like a toddler’s Nikes. Calling in a real rope master ensures that your wife’s night won’t be ruined by your lack of skill. Sorry, but you can barely tie a fish hook on. Let’s leave this one to the pros.