Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling-a-ling-dong!
Gary G. Rabbit gleefully hopped out of his Murphy bed and silenced the alarm. It was time to get up. His roommate and cousin, Gary P. Raccoon, was still fast asleep in his Murphy bed on the other side of the room.
Gary G. Rabbit was about to tell Gary P. Raccoon to wake up when Gary P. Raccoon suddenly sat upright.
“I was just having the most amazing dream!” exclaimed Gary P. Raccoon.
“What was it?” asked Gary G. Rabbit.
“I was dreaming that I was sleeping in your Murphy bed, and you were sleeping in mine!” said Gary P. Raccoon.
“That sounds like a nice dream,” replied Gary G. Rabbit. “Why don’t we do our morning affirmations?”
Gary P. Raccoon nodded. An affirmation is something you say to remember you exist.
“I am a rabbit,” said Gary G. Rabbit.
“I am also a rabbit,” replied Gary P. Raccoon.
“No, you are a raccoon,” said Gary G. Rabbit.
“Oh, haha,” answered Gary P. Raccoon. “I forgot that.”
They folded their Murphy beds back into the wall. All mornings went just like this. It is important to have a routine.
It was time for breakfast. Gary G. Rabbit made a pot of coffee. Coffee is one of the two beverages you can drink when you’re an adult. The other is mouthwash. Gary P. Raccoon started to pour a bowl of cereal when he realized the cereal box was empty.
“NO!” cried Gary P. Raccoon. “We are all out of cereal. This is the worst day of my life.”
“We can go to the grocery store later today and buy more,” replied Gary G. Rabbit.
“I don’t see what good that would do,” said Gary P. Raccoon. “Can’t we go somewhere more fun, like the playground, or the hairdresser?”
Gary G. Rabbit shook his head. “When you need groceries, you go to the grocery store.”
“Okay. Let’s cut coupons for three hours.” said Gary P. Raccoon.
The cousins got out their coupon clippers and stack of coupons and began to cut them out. Coupons are an effective way to get savings and deals.
The cousins clipped coupons for two and a half hours when Gary P. Raccoon began to dance around the room with glee.
“Yippee, yippee, yippee!” he exclaimed. “Yippee!!”
“Be careful not to dance into my stack of coupons,” warned Gary G. Rabbit.
“Look at this! Buy three get one free on Bounce fabric softener sheets! Can we please buy them? Please, please, please?” begged Gary P. Raccoon.
“We do not have a dryer,” said Gary G. Rabbit. “We dip our linens in the tub and lay them around the room to dry.”
“But today is my 16th birthday. It is my Sweet Sixteen and I want the dryer sheets.”
“You turn 42 in November.”
“Oh, haha,” said Gary P. Raccoon. “I forgot that.” Sometimes we desire what we cannot have.
Soon, it was time to head to the store. The cousins got their Razor scooters out of their apartment building’s communal storage room and began to ride them along the town’s walking path.
After only a few minutes, Gary P. Raccoon pulled over to a clearing in the brush and sat down.
“Let’s sit here and eat our groceries!” said Gary P. Raccoon.
“We haven’t bought them yet,” answered Gary G. Rabbit.
Gary P. Raccoon got back on his scooter. The cousins scooted in silence for the remaining mile toward the grocery store. Sometimes it’s just nice to be around the people you know best, even if you’re not talking.
Once they’d entered the grocery store, Gary P. Raccoon started happily running down the aisles.
“The grocery store is even better than the playground and the hairdresser combined!” he shouted, skipping through the pasta aisle. “Let’s get spaghetti, and then when we’re home, let’s cook the spaghetti!”
Gary G. Rabbit agreed that they could buy some pasta. Pasta is affordable and easy to make.
Gary P. Raccoon hopped into the cart himself. “Push me!” he begged. Gary G. Rabbit reluctantly pushed him as Gary P. Raccoon squealed.
“It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster! Woohoo!” he yelled. “Okay, the ride is done.”
Gary P. Raccoon jumped out of the cart, then darted off to the cheese aisle. “I want string cheese, and regular cheese!” he shouted, throwing both into the cart. “Not to mention – CEREAL!”
The amount of choices began to overwhelm Gary P. Raccoon. “How ever am I going to choose a cereal?!” he cried.
“You’re allergic to all but one of them,” said Gary G. Rabbit.
“Oh, haha,” said Gary P. Raccoon. “That settles that.”
After sticking three boxes of his favorite cereal into the cart, Gary P. Raccoon approached a grocery store attendant.
“Excuse me, which aisle has gaucho pants?” said Gary P. Raccoon. “I’ve been looking all over for them.” The grocery store attendant said they did not sell gaucho pants. Gary P. Raccoon began to cry.
“N-n-no gaucho p-pants?” stammered Gary P. Raccoon, tears flooding his eyes. It is not typical for grocery stores to sell gaucho pants.
Gary P. Raccoon threw himself down onto the grocery store floor. He sobbed and kicked and other shoppers began to stare.
Fortunately, Gary G. Rabbit bent down to comfort him. “It’s all okay, Gary P. Raccoon.”
“No. I was right when I said this is the worst day of my life,” said Gary P. Raccoon. “I never should have left my Murphy bed.”
Suddenly, Gary G. Rabbit had an idea. He left Gary P. Raccoon on the floor as Gary P. Raccoon continued to cry.
“I wish I was different. I wish I was a blonde woman,” lamented Gary P. Raccoon. “I wish I really was a rabbit!”
Two shoppers pushed their carts into the aisle, but turned away when they saw Gary P. Raccoon lying on the floor.
“Buy three get one free, right?” said Gary G. Rabbit.
Gary P. Raccoon used his tail to wipe the tears from his eyes. Gary G. Rabbit was standing above him, holding four packages of Bounce fabric softener sheets.
Gary P. Raccoon smiled. “But we don’t have a dryer.”
“I no longer care about that,” said Gary G. Rabbit. Sometimes, being a good cousin means you have to buy things you don’t need.
The cousins returned home and put their groceries away. It was nighttime, so they drew the shades closed and unfolded their Murphy beds from the wall.
“I can’t believe we ate all of our groceries already,” said Gary P. Raccoon.
“We didn’t eat them,” said Gary G. Rabbit. “They are just in the pantry.”
“Oh, haha,” said Gary P. Raccoon. “Let’s eat them in the morning, then, because I am exhausted from the day.”
“I agree,” said Gary G. Rabbit.
They shut off the lights and climbed into their beds. Gary P. Raccoon snuggled up with all four boxes of Bounce fabric softener sheets.
“Let’s do it all again tomorrow,” said Gary P. Raccoon. It is important to have a routine.
“Sure thing,” said Gary G. Rabbit.
The cousins shut their eyes for a moment, but neither had fallen asleep yet.
“I am a rabbit,” added Gary G. Rabbit.
“I am a raccoon,” said Gary P. Raccoon. It is important to feel loved and understood.
